


Freind, Please

by BossPotato01



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Depression, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BossPotato01/pseuds/BossPotato01
Summary: Yet Another pretty angsty fic, because that's what I'm somewhat okay at writing. This deals with some mature topics, such as Suicide. Please understand I am not romanticizing Suicide. Seek help if you are struggling!  Best wishes to all of my readers!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Comments: 24
Kudos: 83





	1. Hate Me

Deceit ran down the hallways, his body being thrown against the walls as the floor tilted, gravity seeming to work in all sorts of ways it shouldn't have. Red alarm lights illuminating the hallway, a noise like a tornado warning blaring from seemingly nowhere. Deceit jolted at the noise, clamping his gloved hands over his ears. "Virgil!!" He screamed, his voice lost in the alarm. The floor suddenly gave way again. He fell to the ground, pushing himself against the wall. He tried to make himself as small as possible; the room began to grow sticky hot like the deepest, darkest jungles.

Deceit couldn't breathe. He was choking on the sticky air. Everything was so loud- so bright. He tried to push himself up again, but the ground pulled him back as if he had cement blocks on his feet, tugging him to the bottom of a river. the noise grew ever louder, the halls ever brighter, and the heat even worse. "Virgil!!!" He called again, his chest burning as he wasted his breath. "Somebody! Please!!!"

Just as Deceit felt as though he was going to pass out from the sensory overload, he jolted awake, still screaming. He was covered in his own sweat, hot and sticky and rare, as he was part-snake, and hence, part cold-blooded. (It was confusing, even to him.) He couldn't seem to stop wailing. He tried to silence himself, taking deep breaths, tearing the tangle of blankets from his person, pushing his back up against the wall. 

He had only been awake about 15 seconds when his door burst open. Deceit flinched. He hadn't meant to wake the other dark sides. What had he done? Two very startled-looking sides barreled in, rushing over to him. It was Remus and Wrath.

Both were in their pajamas, (it must have been very early morning) and looked distressed. Remus sat on the side of the bed, putting his hands on the liar's shoulders. "Hey, hey, hey! It's alright. Calm down."

Despite the dim light that barely lit the room from the hallway, Deceit could see Wrath roll his eyes. "Telling him to calm down isn't going to just magically *poof* his distress away, Creativity!" The side whisper yelled, seemingly trying to be courteous of Deceit's clear hyper-sensitivity.

"Alright, alright..." Remus glared, shaking his head and turning to smile sympathetically at Deceit, who was still a sniveling wreck. "Breath in for 4 seconds... hold for 7... release for 8. Is that good, Rat? Did I do good?"

Wrath opened his mouth to yell at Remus for the rude nickname but resisted the urge. He instead sat down at the foot of the bed, reaching out and interlacing his fingers with Deceit's. A very intimate gesture, compared to the usual amount of physical affection anyone showed each other around here. It was very soothing. Deceit continued the breathing until he was somewhat calmed down.

Finally, Wrath spoke, trying his very best not to sound pissed off- something that he could not easily manage. "Deceit, this is happening every night now. You need help."

"Yes, I totally do," Deceit snapped, but his heart wasn't in it. The lie was so sloppy. He knew he should probably seek help. But he didn't want to.

Remus tilted his head. "I hate to say it, Dee, but Wrath is right. You can't go on like this. Eventually, you might get really sick from losing all this sleep and stuff, and you could get a parasite that feasts off your organs, and you'd be too weak to fight it off and-" Wrath smacked him rather lightly, truly making an effort not to do anything that would really upset the snake side.

"Shut up, you'll make him feel worse!" He hissed. "Look, Deceit. This is getting out of hand. You need to consider it. It's your choice, but if you keep getting worse I will be seriously pissed off. You got me?"

Deceit nodded, not really able to speak.

"Good. I'm going back to bed. Try and feel better. I suggest you take a bath or something, it might level your head." And Wrath was gone, content with the contribution he had made.

Remus stayed, however. His voice was cautious, and he spoke very softly. "What was it this time, Dee? You don't have to tell, but-" he trailed off, shrugging.

After a long moment, Deceit managed to speak. "It was about Virgil. Sort of... I was looking for him, but everything got-" The habitual liar weakly through up his hands, looking for the word. "Bad, I guess."

Remus frowned. "You adored him, didn't you? Loved him. And now you're pinning. It's like some tragic Shakespearian romantic shit."

Deceit relayed an expression of shock and disgust. Or at least he hoped he did. "I am, and never have been in love with Anxiety! And that's the truth! Nor am I pinning," he hissed, carefully getting up. Remus gave him a look, clearly not believing him. "It's the truth!"

Remus shrugged. Deceit could see it was taking everything he had not to make some horribly sexual-themed taunt about the liar and the anxious side. Sometimes, Deceit couldn't help but thank his lucky stars that Remus wasn't completely at the mercy of his creative impulses.

"I suppose one might say his abrupt leave traumatized me a bit, but I'm fine. I'll be fine. Don't worry."

Remus did not object. He walked to the door, his expression weary, and sad. "Okay, Dee. I'll trust you. You gonna be good alone tonight?"

Deceit shrugged, not daring to answer in case Remus decided not to believe him and closed the door.

He slid down against it, his heartbeat picking up speed. Was he so obviously in love with the anxious side? Clearly, if Remus had seen it. He felt this hot embarrassment boiling in his chest. It wasn't just Virgil though. Deceit was terrified, now that Virgil was gone. It was a never-ceasing turmoil that followed him everywhere.

What's keeping Remus or Wrath or anybody from leaving him? He wasn't enough for Virgil, apparently. That's why Virgil had left. A panic attack built within him. "I'm not good enough for any of them. None of them like me. I'm a burden-" Deceit choked out, hugging his knees and he stuttered through this teary road of self-discovery.

"He hates me now. Virgil. Hates. Me." The words hung in the air as if the world had frozen over. Deceit sat, with his back pressed against the door for hours, the terror of being alone a horrible ache within his heart.

What's the point of living if the people you live for don't love you?

The words burned in his skull, the thought bouncing around relentlessly. "They. Don't. Care. About. Me. They only want me to get help so I'll stop waking them up in the middle of the night, r-right? The Light sides certainly don't like me- and Thomas... he never listens. he doesn't care. None of them do. But why would they?"

Deceit was spiraling, his thoughts going a hundred different ways, nonsensical. He tried in vain to bring himself back to the ground. "Lying is important sometimes..." he tried to convince himself. But the words just didn't sound right. He felt like he was lying to himself, but everything was so muddy he couldn't see the way up. He felt the burn of pain in his heart, his whole being hurting.

"They'll all be better off without me..." Deceit whispered. "If Thomas wants to be honest, I think I'll help him with that. It's the least I can do, after everything I've put him through."

Deceit reached into his closet, fishing around before finding a hoodie to throw over his sweat-sticky pajamas. It hurt so much more when he realized it was Virgil's old one. He pulled up the hood, zipping up the hoodie. It was a bit big on him, which Deceit found comforting, but it also let off a deep aura of paranoia, left there by the last wearer.

Deceit did not leave a note. This was all hitting so quickly. They would figure it out sooner or later that he wasn't coming back. He didn't need to draw any attention to himself by leaving some messy scrap of paper. So he left his room, treading silently and barefoot down the hallway, past Remus and Wrath's rooms, past Where Virgil's used to be and the direction to the Light Side corridor.

And So he trecked on to the outer reaches of the subconscious.


	2. Exhausted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next chapter, ya'll

Deceit stumbled along, noticing it grow colder, deader, as he traveled further. He clutched the hoodie closer as he moved along the dark, expansive planes, where everything was the same shade of dark, soul-sucking gray. He could feel the tug of the abyss in the distance.

Deceit didn't know if dying would remove Thomas' ability to lie. But It certainly seemed worth a shot. He was just so tired... so numb. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity in comparison to Deceit's ever-quickening heartbeat, he reached what appeared to be the end, the edge of a cliff that dropped into an ever-darkening pit.

Logan had once talked about a theoretical 'black hole' that housed all of Thomas' lost and forgotten dreams. This seemed to be it — a final, silent resting place. 

A sourceless wind howled around the liar, seeming to urge him to jump. It was so cold, Deceit hugged his body, trying to gain some warmth as he wept. Why is this hard? A voice in the back of his mind asked. It wasn't his, and typically, Deceit would have been far more disturbed to be in a situation like this, but at the moment, he really couldn't be bothered to care. It shouldn't be hard. You have a million reasons to jump right now. Do you have a single reason not to?

Deceit's thoughts flickered to Remus and Wrath, but he was quickly reminded of Wrath's frustration at having been woken up. Wrath would be so upset if he found out Deceit had attempted suicide-

committed, the voice chastised. Not attempted. You are going to jump. Sure Wrath will be upset, but he's always upset. I doubt you killing yourself will even bother him.

And Remus... so patient, trying so hard to behave himself, to not disturb the other side when he was like this. He had offered to stay... he cares, doesn't he?

The voice laughed at him, an evil boom that caused Deceit to flinch. How many times has he suggested you kill yourself? Jump out of a moving car, poison yourself... it wouldn't bother him either, Deceit. I bet he'd be thrilled. Too bad he never got to see all of those cuts and bruises you've given yourself. Think about it- he'd love to have you dead.

Deceit's hope shattered. He didn't know what this voice was or where it came from, but it was right.

His mind drifted to Virgil, but he didn't even stop to dwell on the thought. He wanted to believe that even though Deceit hated him, he didn't wish him dead, did he? But it was useless. The habitual liar had made up his mind.

He dried off his eyes on the sleeve of the hoodie, shivering. He took a step forward to the edge. Good. Go on. You know what to do, Deceit. Just jump.

He was on the very edge when he heard something. Footsteps. Soft music coming from what must have been air pods at full volume. The obnoxious sound of slurping. He had never met this aspect of Thomas, but he knew who he was by reputation.

Like a frightened animal, he whirled around, facing the man. Sleep. The man was exactly as he had been described. Deceit couldn't see his eyes behind is Sunglasses, but Sleep was clearly surprised. He was holding a Starbucks in one hand, and a white Valentino bag in the other.

"Yo babes, who are ya and what'cha doing out here? It's not exactly safe." He said after a minute, walking up next to Deceit. He held out the Starbucks as if he wanted Deceit to hold it, and the side obliged, hoping his hands weren't shaking too much. "Thanks," Sleep said, opening and overturning the bag over the abyss. A bunch of glowing little clouds tumbled from the bag, falling into the pit, flickering out and being absorbed. 

Sleep closed the bag, took his drink back and turned to Deceit, who's mouth hung open in awe. "What were th-those?" He stuttered in the cold, glancing back to the abyss, rubbing his gloved hands together for warmth. 

Sleep clicked his tongue. "Nuh-uh, babes, I asked you a question. Who are you and why are you out here?"

Deceit didn't want to answer. He wanted to just jump. But he couldn't do that in the presence of Sleep. He wanted his death to be a solitary affair. Finally, he spoke, hoping he would be able to convince Sleep to leave.

"I'm D-D-Deceit," he choked out, his voice cracking as he felt like he was going to cry again. "And I'm here b-because I am going to jump." 

Sleep, instead of gasping, just sighed. "Another one, really?" he said to himself, shaking his head.

Deceit didn't understand. "What d-do you mean, another one?"

Sleep ignored him. "I'm Remy, by the way. Or Sleep. And what I just threw in there were more dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Yeah. I'm literally Sleep. That's my job, ya know. I toss out the useless ones every couple of days. But you know Deceit, you really shouldn't jump."

"Wh-why?" Deceit choked, his vision getting hazy from the cold. But Remy seemed unaffected.

"Well, I mean you're a side. Dying would really hurt Thomas. And don't give me any of that 'but I'm toxic' crap, that's ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?" Deceit repeated quietly, feeling too weak to say more. The voice had not stopped quietly repeating that he needed to jump, but he still couldn't help but wonder what Remy meant.

Remy finished his Starbucks and tossed it into the pit, turning back to Deceit. "Okay. How do I explain this..." after a few seconds thinking, he clasped his hands together, pointing at Deceit. "Boi. Any side, if they work too much In Thomas's life, has a bad effect. I've never understood your silly terms of 'Light' and 'Dark' sides. It's silly."

"What do you..." Deceit's speech was falling apart. "What do you mean?"

Remy sighed. "Did you ever see that Yerkes-Dodson curve Logan had? Too much of something is not very cash money, but so is too little. It applies to me, it applies for you, really any part of Thomas, if rejected or overworked, will have bad consequences, babes."

Deceit was numb from cold and starting to see spots. He knew his speech was a bit slurred. "Okay. Maybe Thomas needs me. B-But that doesn't change the fact that everybody in the mindscape seems to hate me!"

"Hate you?" Remy blew a raspberry. "Nah. Dislike? Maybe. But not hate."

The voice in Deceit's head grew louder and he shuddered. It kept hissing at him that Remy was wrong, that he was lying. But Deceit was... well, Deceit. Lying was his thing, he could tell when somebody wasn't telling the truth.

"You... You really believe that" it was more of a statement than a question.

"Hells yeah," He laughed, pulling out his phone. "Okay, buddy. Since you're not looking so good, I'm gonna call some people to come to get you. I'm sure your pals will be happy to see you alive and breathing."

"oh good..." Deceit smiled, his knees buckling. It was so cold. So dark. It was pulling him toward the edge.


	3. Who You Gonna Call?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3rd chapter, kidz

Remy grabbed the arm of the other side, pulling him back from the pit. "Woah now! Watch yourself, babes."

Deceit tried to stand up, groaning. "Th-thanks..." he groaned before fainting, collapsing against the other man. Remy rolled his eyes.

"Ughh... I wanted the day off," he groaned, dragging Deceit a safe distance away from the edge before pulling out his phone once again. He hesitated.

He didn't have any 'dark' sides in his contacts. He had never needed to get them, as he never really worked with any of the sides in general. He shrugged, dialing Logan. At least he might be able to figure out what to do.

It rang four times before the logical side picked up. "Hello, Sleep," he yawned. "It is unexcusably early. Is there something you need?"

"Uh-huh," Remy hummed. "I'm having a bit of a Deceit problem. I need you to help a gurl out."

Logan's voice grew more alert. "What did he do?"

Remy back-tracked. "Oh, it's not what he did, it's really what he didn't do. I mean to say, he didn't do anything bad, but I'm still having a problem, you dig me?"

"Do I dig... what?" He asked, and Remy internally cackled at the fact that Logan probably didn't understand what the slang term meant.

"So I was out by the dream pit, you know, doin' my work like I'm supposed too, and I see Deceit, and he looks suuuuper upset, and I'm like 'guuurl, what's up?' 'cause it's like, crazy early. And then he's like 'I'm gonna jump into the pit' and we chatted for a bit, and I think he decided not to, but like, then he fainted, and I don't actually know what to do with him."

There was a long pause. "Hey babes, you still there?"

Logan cleared his throat. "Deceit was planning to jump?"

"mhm."

After another pause, he spoke again. "Alright. I'll come and fetch him. Then perhaps we'll be able to communicate with him about why he had attempted to kill himself."

Remy took off his sunglasses to clean them. "Gurl, I don't care what you do with him, just hurry up. I've got a lot more to do before Thomas wakes up."

Logan hung up. About 20 minutes later, he came running, Roman close behind. Both were wearing heavy coats, significantly more prepared than Deceit was. Roman was still, however, groggy and annoyed.

"Why do I have to come, exactly? A prince needs his beauty sleep!" Roman was saying as they walked up to the impatient function.

"You are physically stronger. Hence you can assist me in carrying him. Your room was on the way, and also, I am still annoyed with you for cheating in Scrabble." Logan replied.

"That was two weeks ago! I hardly-"

Sleep cut him off. "There you are. It's been like, forever."

Logan adjusted his glasses. "I was on the phone with you less than 20 minutes ago. That is hardly-"

Sleep threw up his hand dismissively. "Whatevs. He's your problem now, bitches. I've got work to do." And just like that, he left.

Logan bent down next to Deceit, making some medical analysis that Roman did not understand. "Speak English, Infinetessimal."

Logan cleared his throat loudly, trying to ignore Roman's comment. "Deceit's suffering from extreme Hypothermia, probably in part due to his cold-blooded anatomy."

Roman kneeled, slinging an arm under Deceit and pulling him up. "Well, then we should probably get him somewhere warm. It's like Arendel's eternal winter out here!"

Logan grabbed Deceit's other arm, and they began to walk back the way they had come briskly.

"Why's Deceit wearing Virgil's hold hoodie?" Roman asked.

Logan glanced down. Sure enough, the hoodie hung off the liar's frame. "I don't know."

The prince's next comment was of a similar fashion. "Jeeze, Deceit's light. And small."

Logan nodded. "Yes. He does seem to be quite malnourished. He certainly didn't appear this bad last time he saw him but has looked consistently worse over time." The two walked for quite a while, saying nothing. "Roman, do you have any idea why he may have been out here?"

Roman tilted his head. "Beats me. I mean, if what you said Sleep said about him trying to commit suicide, then something's seriously wrong. But, I guess I sort of never realized he had any actual feelings, you know what with him being a total... " after a stern look from Logan, he chose his words carefully. "...Jerk all the time."

Logan shrugged. "That's understandable. None of the Dark sides share their emotions much, especially with us."

Roman laughed. "My brother sure does!"

Logan chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose he's an exception." 

Logan was about to say more when Deceit groaned, lifting his head a little. He opened his eyes weakly. Deceit glanced from side to side, eyes wide with alarm. "Oh..." was all he could manage to say. Weakly but determined, he tried to pull away. Deceit withered out of Logan's grasp, but his knees buckled, and he fell into Roman. 

"Woah there, snake-face. We're trying to help you." Roman said, Logan, retaking Deceit's arm.

"I d-don't want your help..." Deceit insisted, immediately fainting again.

Roman couldn't help but laugh at this, earning yet another stern look from Logan.

______________________________

Roman did not like the Dark Side corridors. Everything was like a sloppier, dirtier version of the Light side hall. The carpet had mysterious stains that looked like blood. There were assorted weapons plunged into the walls, ranging from meat cleavers to a Grenade that somebody had managed to throw hard enough it stuck.

However, more than the looks were in chaos. Both the sides that were out were still in pajamas, but none the less carrying on with their activities. Wrath was hanging out of his bedroom door, yelling into a cracked cell-phone. He wore a white muscle tank-top and bright orange basketball shorts. Remus was rushing between rooms, making lots of noise and looking upset. Roman noticed his brother was wearing a black and green kimono, that hung open to reveal he was wearing a pair of plaid boxers and thigh-high fishnets exclusively. Of course, he was. 

Wrath saw them first. "NEVERMIND FOUND HIM. WE'VE GOT IT, GUYS." He hung up by throwing his phone down on the floor with a loud bang. He stomped up to them, looking furious. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? WE'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK ALL MORNING!" he shouted.

Deceit stirred when he heard Wrath shouting, but didn't open his eyes. "Oh, Don't start!" Roman yelled. Logan could already see their egos were going to clash. Hard. "We found him out in the Sub-conscious! You should be grateful!"

Luckily, then Remus came running up, teary-eyed with joy. "Oh, Dee!" He cried, carefully taking him from Roman and Logan bridal style. He turned around and carried him into another room. Wrath, who seemed to calm down a little upon hearing they hadn't done anything to Deceit, but still clearly suspicious, followed close behind.

Roman looked at Logan, and with a shrug, they followed. Remus took Deceit to a dark copy of Thomas's living room, setting the side down on the couch.

Wrath summoned some blankets and handed them off to Remus, who began doting over the liar. Then turned back to the light sides, leaning up against the wall, clearly trying to look as menacing as possible. "So, boys. Mind telling me what happened?" he was clearly trying to stay calm, but beneath the surface was boiling with rage.

Logan cleared his throat, trying not to sound uncomfortable. "Early this morning, I received a phone call from Sleep, who was out in the farther reaches of the sub-conscious throwing out some of Thomas's forgotten dreams; this is part of his job. He had found Deceit, attempting to jump into the black, theoretically bottomless pit that melts down all discarded products of Thomas's mind."

"So we went out there. Dragged him back to you. He's fainted from hypo... hyper..." Roman looked to Logan for some assistance.

"Hypothermia."

They looked back to the two conscious dark sides across from him. Both of them had their mouths hanging open in shock. However, Remus looked on the brink of tears, whereas Wrath might have been planning to decapitate them.

"He... he tried to..." Remus whimpered, his eyes flying between the senseless snake and the three others in the room.

"Kill himself," Wrath said flatly. "Deceit tried to commit suicide." He pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose, beginning to pace. "Why didn't we see this coming?! Damn it, there were so many signs! I can't believe we were so stupid!" Wrath kicked over a lamp, shattering it, causing the others to jump. "He hasn't been eating, he spends so much time alone. And all those nightmares! What was I thinking? Oh, he's just being a little angsty, of course, he would be, what with Anxiety leaving! How could we-"

Wrath only stopped when Remus got up, caught his wrists, and forced him to look him in the eye. "Look, Rat. I would love to go on some violent, bloody, chaotic, stress-relieving murder spree with you right now. But, as much as I hate to say it, we need to focus on my b- our... friend," Even though Remus quickly and smoothly corrected himself, the Light Sides couldn't help but wonder what he was going to say. "because he is having a serious problem."

Deceit stirred again, and everyone glanced over. "Wrath," Remus said quickly. "when he wakes up, please don't yell at him, okay? I don't want to hurt him anymore."

Wrath nodded, his attention still fixed to the couch. Deceit had opened his eyes and was pushing himself to a seated position. He rubbed his eyes and looked out at the others. Deceit visibly gulped, shrinking down into the blankets, looking like he was about to cry. "So you know then," was all he managed to say before burying his face in the blankets and quietly sobbing.

Roman felt embarrassed, immediately feeling he had overstayed his welcome. "Logan, maybe we should-" But Logan held up a finger.

Remus and Wrath immediately sat down on either side of the liar, doing their best not to look horribly upset. "Oh, Dee..." Wrath said somewhat softly, putting his hand in Deceit's for the second time that morning. 

"It's fine! You're okay! don't cry!" Remus said, trying to sound somewhat cheerful, hoping his mood would rub off on the other.

The Wrathful side shot him a look. "I wouldn't go as far as saying you're okay, Deceit."

"Wrath!" Remus hissed, evidently appalled at the other's behavior. 

"What? I'm right. This morning was a clear sign he is very messed up." Seeing that Deceit was crying a bit harder, Wrath did his best to back-peddle. "It's okay, Deceit, we can help you get un-messed up."

Logan opened his mouth to correct Wrath's grammar, but Roman elbowed him. Hard. Logan mouthed 'ouch' and flicked his wrist, summoning a business card. "Actually, Deceit, if you decide to seek assistance from a professional, which I advise you should, there is one in the mind-scape. Frankly, his methods are a bit strange, but he is, so I've heard, excellent." Wrath took the card from him. "Also, Roman and I are going to leave, seeing as it might be better to let you three have some private time to talk."

For the first time since he had been awake, Deceit managed to make eye-contact with them. "Logan... Roman... I- I'm really sorry you had to come to get me. I know you despise me. But thank you. However, I was wondering... could you... not tell the others about this?"

Roman blushed. It was prince-worthy and bashful, but proud. It was what you would expect from a knight who had defeated a dragon-witch, not a side who'd carried a suicidal old foe back to enemy territory. "Ohh. Yeah, of course, Deceit. But just know... we don't hate you."

Deceit smiled sadly and said nothing else. 

The light sides sunk out. Remus and Wrath turned back to Deceit. "It was a fine gesture, but I really don't need therapy. I'm fine, I was just a bit upset."

"' A bit upset' resulting in you trying to kill yourself?"

Deceit shrugged. "I got... depressed. Tired of these nightmares. Sick of everyone hating me. When Virgil left... I just... I got scared. I was afraid you'd leave me too." He did his best to fake a smile. "But don't worry! I see how much you care! I was silly to think that way, really..."

He looked anxiously between Remus and Wrath, hoping they bought it.

One look said otherwise.


	4. Fight Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh? What's this? A Fourth Chapter!

"Well, how did he make you feel? What was it about him that changed how you felt about him?" 

Virgil snapped back to reality. He had spaced out while Dr. Picani had been talking, though not intentionally. "I'm sorry, what?"

Picani smiled. "I understand you blame him for your discomfort, and that is why you left. But that wasn't always true. What changed?"

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. "Uhm... it was really just me, I think. I changed; I wanted to be better. And he stayed the same. I think because I had such a close friendship, I blamed him."

"Oh, kind of like Elsa and Anna!"

"what?" Virgil asked. He was always confused when Picani reached these revelations.

"You're like Elsa, and he's more like Anna. You were best friends for a long time, but an altercation between the two of you lead to the two of you no longer interacting. His desperation for your attention was exhausting, but it simmered out, didn't it?"

Virgil shrugged. "Uhh... yeah..."

"However, unlike Elsa and Anna, it seems he became distraught with you, whereas Anna was always striving for her sister's attention."

"I guess. But what am I supposed to do? I don't want to fight with him forever, but he seems to hate me."

Picani gave one of his trademark kind smiles. "Well, you can try and talk to him. Of course, I don't know him, but it's worth a shot. Good communication is key to a healthy relationship, or at least it should relieve some of the tension between you, and hopefully, your anxiety over it."

Virgil nodded, trying to look like the advice had helped a lot. It's not that it hadn't, but... well, it was complicated. "Okay. Yeah."

"And that is all the time we have for today, Virgil. I hope to see you next week!"

Virgil agreed and began walking to the door of the room. He heard muffled shouting outside. Cautiously, he stepped into the hallway.

The first thing he saw was Wrath, who looked especially ticked off. "Deceit, I swear to God..." he grunted, reaching out into the lobby that leads to the waiting room of Picani's office. He roughly yanked another side in, which was followed by Remus, pushing half-heartedly from the hall.

Virgil stood in shock, taking it all in. First, there was Wrath, who looked exhausted and had slight worry lines on his brow. He was sweating a little, his appearance overall a bit unrulier than usual. And there was Remus, who looked equally as exhausted and worried, but significantly less pissed off (as expected) and then... Deceit.

Virgil hadn't even recognized him at first. He was wearing two jackets- one was clearly Wrath's leather biker one, and the other, he realized in dismay, was his own old one from his dark side days. He wasn't wearing his hat or his gloves, revealing his scales a lot more. He looked more exhausted then either of the others and seemed small, weak, and malnourished. But he was fighting Remus and Wrath, though unsuccessfully.

"I don't want to go!" Deceit whined as the two pulled him by his upper arms.

"Deceit, please, you're ridiculous!" Wrath sighed, exasperated. They pushed Deceit into the room.

He stumbled, and when he pulled himself up was face to face with a baffled Virgil. Deceit's eyes widened, but Virgil was surprised by how dead they seemed to be. "Oh! uhm... h-hi Virgil," he said, and Virgil couldn't help but cringe at how awkward he sounded.

Being Thomas's Anxiety, there was one thing that he was an expert at detecting. Just as Deceit always knew when someone was dishonest, Virgil could sense the anxiety of the other sides. And it was overpoweringly strong with Deceit.

Somehow, out of pity and confusion, Virgil managed to nod. "Hey, Deceit."

Emile stuck his head out of his office. "Deceit? Whenever you're ready, buddy."

Deceit spun around, tightly gripping Remus's hands. Virgil could feel the other man's panic escalate. "Remus, I don't want to... I don't want to do this!" He whisper-yelled, hoping Virgil wouldn't hear, but that Remus would understand the incredible distress he was suffering. His breathing sped up as if he was going to cry.

Virgil could hardly believe what he was seeing. Remus gave Deceit a reassuring smile. "Hey, it'll be okay. You've got to sort some things out, Deceit. What happened this morning-" his eyes flickered to Virgil. "...happened, and you need to try and get better. Logan said Picani would help with that. Will you please try for me?"

Deceit took his hands out of Remus's and wiped his eyes. He nodded. Wrath sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. "We can wait for you if you want."

"...yeah, if you could." the liar said in a small voice. Remus nodded, taking a seat next to Wrath. Remus gave Deceit two dramatic thumbs-ups, and Deceit turned, quickly passed Virgil, and entered Picani's office.

Virgil turned back to the dark sides. "Uhh, what's going on?"

"I don't think it's any of your business, you traitorous thot." Wrath said smoothly, picking up one of the books in Picani's waiting room titled Dealing With Anger: Tips For Folks With More Than A Hot Head. Virgil would laugh about this later.

Remus giggled at the word 'thot.' Virgil bit his lip. "Come on, guys. You got to admit, he looked awful. What's happened to him?"

Remus cleared his throat. "He's been having some serious issues he needs to sort out, that's all. I'd tell you, but I doubt he'd want you to know. After all, you are a 'traitorous thot.' " He couldn't help but start laughing when he quoted Wrath. The anxious side crossed his arms. Sure, it was good Deceit was getting help. He knew it wasn't his right to pry, but... Deceit had looked so bad...

"...Okay. Nice seeing you two," Virgil muttered, walking to leave. He desperately wanted to continue to nag, but it was no longer his place. That's what he had wanted, right? To get away from the dark sides.

Right?


	5. Couch Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the 5th chapter.

Deceit entered. Dr. Emile Picani was already sitting, writing on his clipboard. He looked up when Deceit opened the door, smiling. "Helloo, Helloo, hello!" He said, signaling Deceit to take a seat.

Deceit sat down carefully, slowly, slightly in pain from the cuts along his thighs. "hello," he said quietly.

"New patient! Do you how do?" He asked.

Deceit shrunk slightly into Virgil's old hoodie. "Not very good."

"mmm, " Picani said, writing something. "You just scheduled your appointment this morning. Is there something important you need to talk about?"

"Well, uhh... I didn't schedule this appointment."

Picani laughed. "Ohh, then who did? A ghost?"

"My friends did. They were worried about me. I don't want to be here."

"I take it you don't think you need to be here?"

"I get why they want me to talk to someone, but I can get myself together on my own."

Picani tilted his head. "Now, why is it that you think your friends wanted you to talk to somebody?" Deceit buried his head in his hands, feeling the back of his neck grow hot. He hated confessing things. His eyes were stinging. Please don't cry in front of Dr. Picani; he willed himself. Please. Deceit tried to speak, but his voice was cracking and soft, falling apart as he tried to suppress his sobs."It's alright; you can take your time."

After a few long minutes, Deceit calmed down a little; just enough, he felt like he could get a word out. "I... I tried to kill myself this morning." He forced himself to look up at Picani. His expression was guarded, a compassionate smile on his lips but firm professionalism behind his eyes.

"I see. Do you think you'll want to try this again?" Picani asked, his voice still sweet, but serious. Deceit, despite every fiber of his being telling him to lie, nodded.

"Well then, perhaps it was for the best that your friends wanted you to talk to someone," said Dr. Picani, writing something quickly on his notes. "Are you comfortable telling me why you felt like you should do this?"

Deceit shuddered, pulling his legs up and clutching his knees. He wanted to disappear. He wanted to die. But Remus had begged him to give it a try...

"I..." he bit his lip. "I... I'm in love. I have been fo a long time. The person I'm in love with... he left me for the light sides... he despises me. All of the light sides, Thomas... they all hate me. I'm so afraid that Wrath and Remus will leave too. That they... they pity me. They don't truly care... What's the point of living if the people you live for don't love you?" He finished.

Picani looked surprised, as if there was a flicker of recognition in his eyes. "Oh, dear. That is a lot. Let's start with the 'everyone hating you' thing today, okay?" 

Deceit nodded. "Okay," said Picani. "What is your job, in the mindscape. Explain it to me."

Deceit cleared his throat. "I'm, uhh, in charge of Thomas's lies."

Picani took a note. "Oh, but there must be more. What else do you do?"

The side shrugged. "I guess I also help Thomas know when other's are lying to him. I represent Thomas's self-preservation. I try and regulate the other dark sides' interaction with Thomas."

Picani tapped his pen against his chin thoughtfully. "That's excellent. However, I heard through the grapevine that lately, Thomas has been meeting more of his dark sides. For a long time, you kept them regulated. What was it that made you decide to loosen your grip, so to speak?"

"I-I suppose this will sound pretty petty to you, but... Thomas hasn't been listening to me. Whenever I show up, it's always the other's or me when it comes to decision making. They ridicule, degrade, and never listen. I'm just trying to help Thomas! We should work together. But... they hate me," He paused, taking a few long breaths. Picani waited patiently for him to continue. "After one of our interactions, I just... decided to stop. I hoped that they would see Remus, or Wrath or somebody, and stop thinking I was so bad."

Picani finished writing another thing on his clipboard. "I bet that didn't go how you wanted to, did it?"

Deceit shook his head. "Considering the fact that Virgil hissed at me last time I was in the same room as him, I'd say no."

Picani stifled a laugh within a cough. "You might be right. But Deceit, have you ever wondered why they hate you?"

Deceit bit his lip, taking his hands out his pocket. "This?" he said, waving at the scales adorning his face. "that I encompass lying, and they so firmly believe that 'lying is wrong'?"

"Have they ever explicitly told you that they hate you?"

Deceit opened his mouth to speak but shut it. He thought for a moment. "Virgil has. The others haven't."

And how do the others feel about you? Your fellow Dark Sides? Shall we ask them how they feel about you?"

Deceit didn't say anything, so Picani seemed to take this as verification. He walked to the door, opening it and leaning out into the waiting room. "Excuse me, fellas, do you think you could pop on in here for a second?"

A moment later, Remus and a very exasperated looking Wrath (probably from keeping Remus from acting up too much) entered the room. They took seats on either side of Deceit.

Picani sat back down. "Hello! I'm Dr. Picani." The dark sides greeted him. "So you two scheduled Deceit's appointment this morning?"

"Yes," said Wrath. "We were concerned."

"Of course, and I'm glad you did." Picani looked to Deceit, who seemed to be trying to melt into the couch and disappear. "Deceit, does that sound like something somebody who hated you would say?" Deceit couldn't manage to speak, so he shook his head.

Wrath looked slightly alarmed. "Do... Do you think I hate you, Deceit?"

Deceit took a deep breath, trying not to let himself sound to upset. "I... I guess. Maybe- maybe not hate, but you must seriously dislike me. I keep waking you two up with my nightmares. I always hold you back. I'm just a burden on you. I was a burden on Virgil, and he left. I'm so afraid you'll leave me too. I'm not getting better, which you said would make you really upset. B-but, I really am trying!" he was teared up, his voice cracking in the last few words.

"Oh, Dee..." Remus muttered. "We love you. We care about you. We will never leave you on your own!"

Deceit rubbed his eyes on his sleeve. "That... that's what Virgil said."

Wrath couldn't seem to find anything to say, so he looked to Picani. "Deceit, you can tell if somebody is lying, right?"

"yes," the side said. "But Virgil told me he wouldn't leave, and he did."

Picani was about to answer, but Wrath took the words right out of his mouth. "You know Dee, I don't think Virgil wanted to leave, or ever thought he was going to want to. I don't think it's a lie if you think it's true."

"Well, then how could I ever know if you guys really mean this stuff?!" Deceit cried, his brief bit of confidence deflating again.

"How can you know that the Light Sides hate you, with that kind of logic?" Picani countered. Before Deceit could speak, Picani turned to Remus and Wrath.

"Okay. Can the two of you tell Deceit how you feel about him at this moment?"

Remus nodded and began speaking very, very quickly. "I feel really sad, Deceit! You're my best friend and I care about you! I don't want you to hurt or kill yourself, because we need you! Thomas needs you, even if he doesn't think he does. You're smart and awesome and I think your scales are super cool! I got really scared when Logan and my brother brought you back, I thought you weren't gonna wake up! And then we'd have to bury you, and maggots would come and feast on your eyes and your liver and-"

Picani looked slightly revolted but cleared his throat. "Thank you very much, Remus. That was perfect. However, if you find yourself upset or worried again for some reason, and you began to catastrophize, it could lead to an uncontrollable stream of these thoughts, which will not make you feel any better. Why don't you take a deep breath," Remus did, managing to settle down. "Wrath? How about you."

Wrath was slower, clearly choosing his words carefully in the beginning, but also starting to get upset. "Deceit, I really admire you. You care so much about your work and always try so hard to help Thomas, even if he doesn't think your way is right. I'm really sorry you think I hate you. I didn't mean to make you think that when I said I would be angry if you got worse, I was just hoping to, I dunno, make you want to get better? To get some help? I feel so stupid for letting you think this way! How could we go so long without noticing you were in so much pain! I guess I always saw you as too strong to have a problem like this, that it didn't phase you. Not that you're not strong, I just... ugh! Why is this so difficult!? Look, we don't want this to happen again because we sincerely, honestly, care about you. You're my friend, and I can't bare to watch you mutilate, hate and... and try and kill yourself!" he was half shouting by the end. Deceit had his eyes closed, rubbing his temples.

Picani bit his lip. "Thank you for expressing your feelings, Wrath, though I don't think that such a hostile tone will inspire him to get better. In fact, it seems what he's saying is this may have played into his problem in the first place. Your passion is commendable." Wrath settled back, almost sheepish.

"So Deceit. Did you see how passionate your friends are about you being safe and healthy?"

Deceit nodded.

"Good. Now what I'm going to ask you to think about might be a little tough, but I'd like you to try your best. First, think about yourself. Have you always felt this way? That you were despised, that you were worthless, and that people will leave you?"

"...No," Deceit asked.

"Do you think that Remus and Wrath have always cared this much about you, or that over time as you got to know them better, they became more invested in your well being?"

"The, uhm, second one," Said the liar after a moment.

"Now, Do you think Virgil has always, or will always hate you, Deceit?"

Wrath and Remus exchanged looks over Deceit's head, silently reminiscing about how Virgil had acted in the lobby; how worried he had seemed about Deceit. There is no way you could care about someone like that and simultaneously hate them. But Deceit's answer contradicted their theory.

"Maybe he didn't use to hate me, but now he always will."

Dr. Picani clicked his tongue. "Ah ah ah, that's where you're wrong! We just talked about how people's feelings change. Trust me, even if he 'hates' you now, and I highly doubt he does," Picani said, taking a note on his clipboard. "he won't always. But you're the only one who can change that. I think it would do you good if you just talked to him. When you're ready, of course. And even the other sides and Thomas, if you're up to it, but for now, it seems like Virgil is the one bothering you the most."

Deceit gave a confidence lacking nod and a shaky smile. Picani kept going. "I can't assure you that you're friends will never leave. Just like in the Fox and The Hound, situations change people, and they have to find their place. But a healthy relationship built on communication with your friends will help keep things strong and will help you work out any problems you might be having. You get me?"

"Y-yeah, I do. I'll try."

Picani smiled big. "Atta side. That's awesome."

Deceit scheduled another appointment, and then he and Remus walked towards the door. Wrath moved to follow, but Picani grabbed his arm. "Hey, can I talk to you for a second alone? Thanks." He closed the door.

"What?" Wrath asked, pushing down his hostility with a deep breath. He didn't like being grabbed.

"So Wrath, I just wanted to talk to you because you seem like the most mature person Deceit is actually comfortable with," Picani said, reaching behind him setting down his clipboard.

"I'm flattered," Wrath said, deadpan. "Go on."

"I'm going to need you and Remus to spend as much time as possible with Deceit for the next week. He's on suicide watch. Do not let him out of your sight, if manageable. Understood?" The preppy joy he had used to try and encourage Deceit was gone. He had done a full 180 degrees, which had been briefly jarring, but Wrath quickly recovered.

"Yeah."

Wrath turned to leave. "Oh, and Wrath!" Picani said. "Will you assist him in cleaning up those self-harm wounds? I can tell he has them. I understand it's a bit awkward to offer, but I'd really rather not have Remus do it, he'll enjoy it too much."

Wrath had the ugly mental picture of Remus with dealing with gore. Dr. Picani was absolutely right, it would be better for everyone to keep him away from that sort of thing. Wrath nodded and thanked Picani, and then hurried after his friends.


	6. Water Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> number 6

"I can't believe," Roman began as soon as they got back. They had come up in his room, which was where they had left from in the first place. Logan's look through him off his groove. "That he tried to- what?" he asked.

Logan pushed his glasses up on his nose. "We made a promise to Deceit, Roman. We aren't going to discuss it." Logan took off his coat, hanging it up in Roman's wardrobe from where he had taken it.

Roman rolled his eyes, taking off his own coat and tossing it on his bed. "No, Deceit made us promise not to tell Patton and Virgil. But we can, and should, talk about it!"

Logan gave a light shrug. "And what do you want to discuss, Roman? It was made clear to us today that perhaps we should be more sympathetic to the dark sides. Especially Deceit, who seems to have been really affected by our careless words. But it seems to me that you're purely interested in gossip, of which I am not."

Roman tried to speak, to defend himself, but he didn't have much to say. Logan smirked and made his way to the door. "We aren't going to speak of this again, Roman. That's final."

Roman followed Logan out of the room. They went down to the kitchen, where Patton was putting together lunch. "Hey, guys!" He said, waving with the butter knife he was using to smear mayonnaise on the sandwiches he was making. "Where've ya been?"

"Out and about," Logan said casually. "Sleep wanted help with something."

Roman bit his lip. Well, Logan wasn't wrong... "Oh, did he?" Patton said, finishing the sandwiches he was making. "Haven't seen him in a while! We should invite him over sometime."

"Yeah," Roman said absentmindedly. "Sure. Hey, have you seen Virgil?" It was about 11:30. It was possible the anxious side was still in bed, but unlikely. He missed his boyfriend and was hoping that Virgil might know something, what with him having been a dark side before. It was killing him to keep someone else's secret.

Patton nodded, putting the food on plates. "Yeah, he should be back pretty soon. He had an appointment with Dr. Picani, I think. But for now, let's eat!"

The sides took their food to the table. Patton ate and chattered happily, saying something about how one of Thomas' friends had gotten a new dog or something like that, but Roman was too busy glancing in Logan's direction, hoping he would say something about the morning's events. But he didn't.

As they were finishing, Virgil rose up in the living room. Roman couldn't help but think Virgil looked slightly troubled; or, at least more than usual. When Patton greeted him, however, he shook away the expression.

"Hey, Hot Topic!" Roman grinned, pulling out a chair next to his own. Virgil took it and reached for a sandwich. "How's it going?" The princely side asked, trying to push it from his mind. He should ask later. At least, when Logan wasn't around. Roman felt a slight pang in his stomach at the thought of betraying Deceit's plead. He's not going to know anything. I should just let it go.

"Okay. I had a good session." Virgil took a bite of his sandwich.

"That's good!" Patton said. "I'm glad."

"Yeah," Virgil said with a shrug. "It was weird though."

"How so?" Inquired Logan.

"Well, I saw Wrath, Remus, and Deceit there. Wrath and Remus were dragging him into Picani's office. He looked like Shit."

Roman stared at Logan, unsure how to respond. The logical side glanced his way, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Patton made a little noise in the back of his throat. "Virgil... language..." he corrected.

"Sorry," Virgil said with a blush.

"That is kinda weird though. I hope he's alright! Maybe I'll bake some cookies and bring them if I check up on the dark sides!"

Logan's eyes widened for a fraction of a second. "Uhm... I don't think that's wise, Patton. You know how private the dark sides are... They probably would appreciate you just popping in."

Patton frowned, wiping his hands on a napkin. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

Roman couldn't understand how Logan was resisting the urge to tell them. "Uhm, did you talk to them at all?" He said, trying to sound casual. A kick from Logan under the table signaled it hadn't been, but Patton seemed oblivious. But Virgil, however... his eyes lit up like they did when he was detecting anxiety. His gaze flickered to Roman, but he didn't comment, instead, he took a bite of his sandwich.

Through a full mouth, he spoke. "I mean, a little. I said high to Deceit, but he seemed pretty out of it, and Remus was trying to calm him down. Oh, and Wrath called me a thot."

Patton, who had looked concerned up until then, laughed. Logan had actually heard this slang term and smiled, though still slightly confused. "But you are not a woman who might be considered promiscuous-"

He was cut off by Roman, loud, snorting laughter. "He... he called you a thot?" The creative side wheezed.

Patton, still giggling, looked back over to Virgil. He stopped laughing. He could feel that Virgil was acting a little, that he didn't really find it that funny. It was just a sense, in his heart, and he wanted to give Virgil a hug. "Did... did it hurt your feelings, Virge?"

Virgil made eye contact, and for half a second, Patton read 'yes, it did.' but Virgil quickly shook his head. "No, no," he said, trying to sound cheerful. "Why would I care what the Dark Sides think of me?"

'Because you were one of them,' All of the Sides thought as Virgil's fake laughter stretched a bit too long.

"Well!" Patton said, standing up. "Let's stop talking about Deceit behind his back. It's not very polite. Uhm... subject change... would anybody like to play a board game with me?"

They all volunteered, eager to get the situation of Deceit off their minds. Wrath and Remus would take care of it. But none of them were too sure.

________________________________________________

Monopoly had gone on for three hours. Logan had all of the Railroads and the board walk, and was haggling Virgil to sell him Park Place. 

Patton had accumulated quite a few houses and a few hotels across the board, Roman noted, looking back to stare at his one measly hotel. He didn't like these money games. But the others seemed to, so he was willing to participate. After a little time, Logan had bankrupted Roman and somehow convinced Virgil to sell his assets, and the two found themselves out of the game.

Patton, however, was still going strong. "Why don't we watch a movie or something while they finish up?" he asked the anxious side.

Virgil nodded, and they left the others in Patton's room where they had been playing. When they reached the living room, Virgil spun around, quickly facing him. "I know you know, Princy."

'Oh shit', Roman thought to himself. 'Play Dumb!' "Who's Princy?" He said allowed. 'Dang it, not that dumb!'

"Roman Creativity Sanders, don't talk to me like I'm stupid! if you respect me, as your boyfriend, you'll tell. What do you know?"

'Aww Snap he used the boyfriend word, now I have too.' Roman thought. He muttered a silent prayer that Deceit wouldn't try and kill him, and sighed. "Well you see, this morning Logan woke me up super early."

"Okay." Virgil was not going to back down. "What next?"

"He got this call from Sleep that Deceit was out by the dream dump in the subconscious, which is this crazy bottomless pit thingy."

Virgil collapsed down on the couch. His eyes filled with fear. He knew the place. He had seen Deceit. It was coming together. Roman knelt by him, trying to calm his boyfriend down from being on the brink of a full-blown panic attack. "Hey! Virge, please just breathe. Can you match your breathing with mine? It should help."

Both of them were quiet for a moment, Virgil trying to find some way around the thought he had. "He was... he was trying to..."

Roman nodded, a soft smile on his lips. "Yeah, but he's okay, Virgil. He's okay. Sleep convinced him not to, and we brought him back, and now Wrath and Remus are taking care of him. He'll be okay." Roman paused, wrapping his arm around the other side. Virgil flinched but quickly pressed into Roman, his eyeshadow coming off on his boyfriend's sash. "Why do you care about him so much though? I thought you hated him."

Virgil, choking back a sob, rubbed his eyes. "Well, I d-do, but... he used to be my best friend. My family..." Suddenly, Virgil bolted up, surprising the other. "I have to see him!"

Roman grabbed his hand. "No, no, no! Virgil, I promised him I wouldn't tell you!"

"You shouldn't have promised," Virgil said, pulling his hand out of his boyfriend's grasp.

He sunk down, not sure what he was going to do, but certainly, this conversation was long overdue.


	7. Lose You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This sad lil thing is chapter 7

Deceit winced, trying to pull his arm back. Wrath held it very tightly, carefully cleaning the cuts Deceit had carved into himself. Wrath set down the cleaning supplies, biting his lip, trying to find a way to voice his frustration appropriately.

"Deceit," he said, sighing and closing his eyes for a second. "You need to let me finish this."

"I know, I know," the side sniffled. "It... it just stings."

Wrath took a deep breath, expelling his annoyance. He was still baffled by this new aspect of Deceit he had never encountered- broken. The unfortunate side was so broken. Wrath only hoped that Remus and he had the right tools to patch him up again. "Oh, I know, Dee. I'm real sorry. I'll be done soon, I promise."

They were in the kitchen, Deceit seated on the counter so Wrath could better work. The liar was still sporting both Virgil's hoodie and Wrath's leather jacket, which Wrath had loaned to him, that hung much too big, adding to his disheveled, weak appearance. But he wore only his boxers, as Wrath had spent the last half-hour both fighting Deceit and trying to clean the wounds the side had Picasso'd but his thighs. 

Wrath finished bandaging up Deceit's arm and put things away. Then he helped Deceit off the counter. The two of them stood awkwardly. They had never been close like this. That's not how their relationship had ever been. When Wrath had gotten into a fight with some of the other dark sides (ones who kept to themselves almost entirely) and obtained a black eye, Deceit had teased him lightly and thrown a piece of meat at him. Wrath had always purposely burned Deceit's birthday cakes (to be fair, Wrath undertook baking with Remus, who liked to add ingredients. Which weren't supposed to be in the cake- things ranging from lamb's blood to Toothpaste- Deceit was lucky that 'burned' was the worst thing that happened to it). But this... this was a whole new, terrifying level of their friendship that, unfortunately, may never have been there otherwise.

Wrath wished they hadn't gotten to this point. He would rather have stayed awkward- frenemies if it meant Deceit hadn't tried to do what he did that morning. How gladly he would trade this mutual respect and slight trust for those times! He felt himself heating up. He had been pushing down his anger all day, the very best he could, but it was eating him up inside. He needed to explode.

Deceit could see this. He sighed, not making eye contact with Wrath. "I can tell you're incredibly angry with me. It's alright. Why don't you just get it out of your system? I know you have more to say then what you did in front of Remus and Dr. Picani."

Wrath wrestled with himself. 'I can't yell at him... he needs love and support, not my anger...' but it was boiling within him. He couldn't take it.

"DECEIT SANDERS, YOU ARE ONE OF THE ABSOLUTE DUMBEST PEOPLE I HAVE EVER MET. YOU THINK WE DON'T LOVE YOU?! THAT WE DON'T APPRECIATE YOU?! YOU HAVE NO IDEA. WHEN WE FOUND YOU GONE THIS MORNING, WE WERE TERRIFIED. AFTER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT, WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. AND WHEN YOU GOT BACK... BY GOD, YOU ARE SO LOVED. I DON'T CARE IF THE LIGHT SIDES DISAGREE WITH ME, YOU ARE THE BEST OF US. I THINK SO, REMUS DOES, AND SO DID VIRGIL. YOU ARE SO STUCK ON HIM! HE WAS OUR FRIEND TOO, OUR FAMILY TOO. BUT YOU LOVED HIM SO MUCH, YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE HOW MUCH REMUS PINES OVER YOU! AND NOW THAT VIRGIL'S GONE, WE'VE TRIED MOVING ON, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T SEEM TOO. YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF; GOD DAMN IT! I KNOW IT WASN'T ALL HIM, BUT IF I LOST YOU, I WOULD KILL HIM FOR WHAT HE'S DONE TO YOU. LOOK AT YOURSELF, DECEIT! YOU'RE FALLING APART! AND IT'S NOT FAIR! I CAN'T lOSE YOU!"

He quickly walked towards Deceit. The liar flinched, preparing for some sort of 'what the hell were you thinking?!' kind of bitch slap, but it never came. Instead, Wrath wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug. 

"Oh!" was all the side could manage. He, in turn, clung to Wrath as the taller side buried his face in the liar's hair. He felt tears building up, burning his face. But he pushed them down. "This... this is really nice," he finally muttered matter of factly.

"Yeah," Wrath said with a sigh, his energy spent.

Deceit pulled away. "But I have to ask you... what was that about Remus?"

'Shit!' Wrath thought, biting his lip. "Damn. It just sort of slipped out. Sorry. Uhm, well you see..."

"Yes?" Deceit prompted.

"Remus confided in me this morning that he was in love with you."

Deceit was quiet for a moment, staring at his feet. "Really?"

"Yes," Wrath said, sliding a hand through his messy, spiked up hair. "What, do you like him back?"

"I don't know. Maybe? I have a lot of feelings right now, and-"

Wrath through up his hands. "Oh of course! I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. Why don't we go find Remus and relax? I think that'd be nice."

Deceit nodded, not really thinking. He was clearly lost in thought. "Yeah. Nice. Let's do it."

Wrath cursed himself for his words and followed Deceit out of the kitchen.


	8. Argue With Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're on track for a bunch more sad with chapter 8, lads and lasses and non-binary- well you know what I mean. (; Good luck!

"Hey, snakey, how you doing?" Remus said when the two of them entered the living room. Remus was kneeling at the coffee table, carefully putting together a voodoo doll that bore a resemblance to his brother.

Deceit smiled fakely, shrugging. "Better," He said, his eyes fixed on Remus. He had always wondered about Remus. Like his brother, the Duke was a hopeless romantic, despite his fixedly morbid fascinations. Deceit couldn't help but let his mind wander, revisiting all those moments he might have misinterpreted the sides' actions and words. But he could see it now — the affection in his gaze, something more than that of a friend.

Wrath, noting that Deceit was busy having some revelation, sat down on one side of the couch. "Hey, we're going to watch a movie or something. Remus, why don't you make food?"

Deceit and Remus both stared at him with wide eyes. "You want me to do what? I thought you didn't trust me with a butter knife." The creative side said.

Wrath shrugged, yawning. "I'm tired. I am willing to trust that you won't put anything in our food that isn't supposed to be eaten."

Remus looked sheepishly at his shoes. "But that's my favorite part of cooking..."

Deceit pointed to the kitchen. "I can make something; it's no trouble-"

"NO." Both of the other sides said a little too quickly. Deceit's shoulders sagged a little. "You've had a tough day today. why don't you take it easy?" Wrath suggested. Deceit nodded and sat down on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest. He looked exhausted too. Wrath turned to Remus. "Why don't you kind of reverse it? Make something looks poisonous, but is it perfectly safe and good? I'd rather not have to get my stomach pumped because you've poisoned me. AGAIN."

Remus's eyes lit up, and he nodded, turning and running into the kitchen. "Challenge accepted!" He shouted. Wrath and Deceit made eye contact and then burst into laughter.

"I've got to admit; I'm a little scared of what he's going to make..." Wrath laughed. The sides both were, but hoped Remus would keep it together. "Here, why don't you pick what we watch?" Wrath said, handing Deceit the remote. 

Deceit turned on a documentary about the Illuminati, and Wrath couldn't help but think of Virgil. Not so long ago, Anxiety had sat between the two of them on the couch, Remus usually asleep across their laps (Not for lack of seating really, just because he could). They would watch some scary movie or graphic/creepy documentary, not unlike this, and Virgil would cling to Deceit's arm, intrigued but horrified. Wrath remembered these moments quite well. He had once eaten six pounds of popcorn and gotten sick for over a week. But it felt so different now. The set was right, but the cast and script all wrong.

Wrath closed his eyes, beginning to drift off to sleep. But he was awakened by the feeling of Deceit, leaning against him. The liar had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He looked upset; his face scrunched up. 'A nightmare,' Wrath realized. Unsure what to do, the side moved his hand to his friend's back, holding his closer. Deceit settled down a little bit, and Wrath sighed. He would rather not have to wake up the liar; he looked so exhausted. Wrath couldn't help but feel like a pet owner who was trapped under the penalty of horrible guilt if they woke their animal up as Deceit slept on his shoulder. So he sat, silently, awkwardly, for quite a while, listening to Remus sing some pirate chanty and clang around kitchen utensils. The side once again closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

__________________________

Nobody would dare say that Remus wasn't trying his best. He was. He had made short-cake and decorated it like chopped off fingers. He made pasta, covering it in sauce he was sure looked just like blood, and meat he thought was identical to organs. "What do you think, Roman?" He asked the half-assembled voodoo doll of his brother, who was sitting in the fruit bowl. The doll said nothing. It was satisfying work, more so than actually adding harmfull chemicals to food. (You add bleach to ONE meat-loaf, and everyone bans you from using the kitchen un-supervised just because Wrath and a couple of other dark sides had almost died. A bit extreme, if you ask him).

Remus stood back, looking at his work. It was good- or at least he hoped it was. Deceit always did most of the cooking ("I can't just let you eat Deoderant all the time, or starve because you're too lazy or distracted to eat!"), but Remus had done his best to make something edible. He sure hoped Deceit would like it.

Deceit. Just thinking about him made the Duke feel butterflies. Deceit had always been so tolerant, so understanding, so smart... and hot. Remus couldn't help but feel like he had failed. Did Deceit think he wasn't loved? So much he had wanted to die? Remus had accepted that Deceit's heart was set on Virgil some time back and tried to give his crush some space, but it stung that he was so blind to his affection. "What did I do wrong, man?" he said to the lifeless doll, who's eyes looked just a little too realistic but creepy, even for him. "How could this happen?"

"I was wondering the same thing." Said a voice from behind Remus. The Duke spun around, drawing a meat cleaver from the knife block, grabbing the person who had spoken, and pinning him against the refrigerator. 

Virgil's eyes struck him. They were full of determination and anger, an upset expression he didn't recognize. "V-Virgil!" He squeaked in surprise as the other side pushed him off. "What are you doing here?!"

Virgil looked around, scanning the room. "I need to talk with a certain liar." He began making his way to the kitchen door.

Remus stepped in front of him. "Vee, this is a really bad time, he can't see you right now."

"Bullshit, Remus! Let me through!" Virgil shouted, pushing the other side. He got past, storming into the living room.

Wrath had quickly woken up, his eyes bleary and startled. When he saw Virgil, he frowned. "What are you doing here? Leave." He whisper-yelled, trying to avoid waking up his friend.

"I need to talk to him!" Virgil said at full volume. 

Deceit sat bolt upright, startled by the sudden noise. He turned, seeing Virgil.

"V-Virgil? What?" He looked to Remus, who stood awkwardly in the doorway, clearly unsure what to do with himself, as he was unable to answer as to why the anxious side was there.

"You- You-" Virgil couldn't form sentences. Wrath stood up, taking a step towards Virgil. He could tell when somebody was worked up.

"Virgil, you need to calm down." Wrath said, putting his hands up. "I understand you're upset, but if you say anything to hurt him-"

"No..." Deceit noted in a small voice. The two turned to see Deceit, who had stood up, facing Virgil. "It's alright, Wrath. He needs to say something to me," Deceit sighed heavily. "So Virgil, I take it that you know..."

"Yeah," Virgil said, his voice portraying that 'duh, stupid' tone. 

"Who told you?"

"Roman," Virgil spat.

Deceit cursed under his death. "Of course he did. That little asshole can't do anything right."

"Watch it, snake face, that's my boyfriend you're talking about."

"Oh, because I care so much about what your boyfriend feels. What do you want, Anxiety?" Deceit regained some of his old composure, that which he used to have, to pretend to have.

"I wanted to talk to you; to make sure you're alright. I'm scared for you."

Deceit laughed, but he couldn't help but feel the slightest sliver of hope. "Scared for me? That's sweet Virgil, but I don't see how that's your business anymore."

"Hell yeah, it's my business! I cared about you; you were my best friend."

"Best friend, huh? Since when? You hate me."

"No, I don't," Virgil said, immediately growing uncomfortable. He felt like the room was getting hotter. He had to keep talking to get his words out. "I don't hate you. I thought I did, but I could never."

"Oh, that's rich. Say, do either of you think he would have ever told me he didn't hate me before this morning?"

Remus and Wrath glanced at each other. They had just been standing in uncomfortable silence watching the two argue. "Well, uhm..." Remus looked away, not wanting to look at them. Wrath gave a similar, hesitant mumble of an answer.

"I thought so. Let's face the facts; Virgil. You left because you didn't care. You wanted to be better than us," Deceit reached up and wiped away a tear. His voice cracked. "I mean, I get it. Being loved- being appreciated. Who wouldn't want that?!"

Virgil stared, his eyes softening. He had only seen Deceit cry once. It had been the day he left the dark sides. But even that hadn't compared to this. The broken, suppressed sobs. The sniffling. "I just wish you had seen how much we loved and appreciated you here! How much... How much I did."

Deceit's face grew redder, and he looked away. "Oh..." Virgil said, realizing. "I knew you cared about me, but you..."

"I loved you," Deceit said. "When you left... I kept wondering what I did wrong. I wanted you back. I- I wanted to make sure I didn't mess up with Remus and Wr-Wrath the way I did with you; so I wouldn't lose them too!"

"Deceit-" Wrath began but stopped. He wanted to comfort his friend, but he could tell Deceit wasn't finished.

"But I've figured it out. You left because you were sickened by us. By me. You have every right to be. I'm a liar, I'm toxic, I look like this-" He waved his hands to his face. "I'm a monster."

Virgil could feel panic rolling off Deceit in waves. The side slid his hand through his hair, gripping it and pulling, squeezing his eyes shut. "Oh my God..." Deceit groaned.

Remus approached him, carefully putting a hand on Deceit's shoulder. "Dee, please, just take a breath-"

Deceit tugged away from Remus. "No no no- I... I just need a minute. Some fresh air..." He bolted to the door, racing out and slamming it behind him.

Wrath spun on Virgil. "Damn it, Anxiety, look what you've done! What were you thinking!?"

"I just wanted to apologize! I know I've been tough on him lately but-"

"Oh shut up!" Wrath shouted, his eyes ablaze. 

Remus was standing in the doorway. "Wrath, come on. We need to find him, NOW."

Wrath growled, turning away and stomping out the door. Remus paused for a fraction of a second. "Virgil, he loves you. I love him. You love my brother... it's all very complicated. But if he gets hurt, there is nothing that will stop me from ripping your throat out. With my teeth."

Without anything more, he turned and ran after Deceit and Wrath. Virgil took a deep breath and ran after his old family.

He had to fix this.

He had too.


	9. Are You Insulting Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 let's go

Deceit ran. He ran and ran as fast as he could into the depths of the mindscape. He needed to get away from them... from him. He felt like he was burning up; there was all this pressure in his chest... he finally understood how Virgil must have felt all the time. This panic, eating him up inside. It was awful.

He heard voices a long way back, calling his name. But he drowned them out, just focusing on placing one foot in front of the other as he rushed onwards. At some point, he tripped over his own to feet and fell to the ground. He lay there for a moment, unable to move before a wave of nausea hit him like a bus. He rolled over and dry-heaved (It came to his attention he hadn't eaten anything all day). The pain he was in was unbearable. His heart hurt, both from the exercise and the anxiety that was eating away at him.

"What have... what have I done?! Why did I think this would get better!?" He crossed his arms, hugging his chest. He felt like he was going to explode. He dug his nails into his sides, trying to ground himself a little with the pain, but it was no use. "I should have known. How did I not see this coming?! He had every right to leave. I'm an awful person!"

Some small voice inside him tried to speak up. 'If you're such an awful person, then why does Remus like you? You can't do this to him!'

Deceit held himself tighter. "No... Remus would be better off without me. Look how much happier Virgil is. He's with- with Roman, and he's never looked better. It's for the best... I can't hurt him or drive him away as I did with Virgil. Not again..."

He pushed himself up, a sort of numb ache taking over. He looked to the sky. "I'm so sorry, guys. I just can't risk hurting you."

__________________________________________

"FuCk!" Remus and Wrath shouted in unison, coming to a halt. Virgil ran into Wrath's back, earning him a hearty scowl.

"We lost him!?" Wrath punched the air, jumping up and down on his heels so as to contain himself a little. 

"How are we supposed to find him now!?" Remus yelled, but his voice was less full of anger, more of fear.

"How am I supposed to know? You're creativity! Think of something!" Wrath shouted back. 

Remus rubbed his face with his hands, thinking for a moment. "I... I..."

Wrath crossed his arms, waiting patiently. He quickly lost that patience. "Well?!"

"I don't know!! I'm sorry! I'm only half of creativity!"

Wrath's eyes bulged, and he growled loudly. "Oh, come ON!"

Half of creativity. Virgil bit his lip. He had an idea. But the question was: was there any way they would trust him? "Uhm," he tapped Wrath on the shoulder. The side spun around.

"What do you want, Anxiety!?"

"I, uh, had an idea," Virgil muttered, per usual he was taken aback by Wrath's abruptness. Wrath scoffed. Remus looked at him eagerly; desperately, cueing him to go on. "So, I can sense anxiety, Deceit can sense lies-"

Wrath groaned dramatically. "Who are these clarifications for? We all know this. GET TO THE POINT."

"Well, I was thinking... Patton can feel strong emotions. Maybe he could find Deceit? They're connected, you know, since they're opposites."

Wrath and Remus began speaking at the same time. "You expect us to trust a Light Side? we don't even trust you!"

"Do you think he'd help us?"

Wrath stared daggers at the Duke. He grabbed Remus's shoulder, turning the two of them away from Virgil. "What the Hell do you think you're doing? We can't trust him!"

Remus shook his head. "I don't want to trust them, but what's the worst that could happen? They'll try to help, if they can't, we ditch them. We need to find Deceit. I'm willing to do what has to happen to do that. Are you Wrath? Or are you so childish you can't get over the whole Light side- dark side feud?"

Wrath startled. "It takes a lot of balls to insult me, creativity," He faced the other side. Wrath was actually shorter then Remus, but that didn't change how menacing he was. Or so he thought.

Remus laughed. "And I'll do it again, pussy. Now come on, let's go." Virgil pretended not to hear this, but inside, he was cackling. Before Wrath could respond to Remus, the side looked to Virgil. "Alright. Call him. Quickly, we don't have any idea how much time we have."


	10. Wrath Has Had It Up To Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 ya'll!

"Hey, Kiddo! What's happening? It's kinda late."

Virgil relished the sound of the father-figure's voice, despising himself at the thought of how sad it would become when Virgil shared the news. "Patton, I, uh, need your help. I screwed up."

Wrath snorted, "you could say that again." Virgil turned away, trying to shield himself from the sides' scrutiny.

On Patton's end of the phone, Logan sat reading a book on Monopoly. He was furious that he had somehow lost the game to Patton, and was trying his best to figure out what he had done wrong. But he glanced up, seeing Morality's exuberant expression drop to concern. "What's wrong, Patton?"

Patton put his hand to the phone to shield his voice from Virgil. "I don't know, Virgil's done something and sounds super upset." He spoke to Virgil again. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. But Deceit, he, uh..." Virgil took a deep breath. "We had a bit of a fight, I didn't mean to upset him, but it just sorta happened. He- he tried to commit suicide earlier. He ran away from us- Remus and Wrath and I- and now we can't find him. We're all super worried he's gonna... he's going to..." Virgil couldn't help it. He was going to have a full-blown anxiety attack. 

On the other end of the line, Patton was silent. He heald his hand to his mouth in abject horror. Logan closed his book. "Patton? Patton, what's going on?"

"Deceit... he's..." Patton choked out.

Logan's eyes widened. "Oh no...he... he didn't..." the logical side was having trouble finding the correct words- a situation he was rarely caught in.

"What do you need me to do?" Patton asked, trying to suppress the fear in his voice.

"...Well, I was thinking, w-what with you being morality... you can always sense when I'm having a tough time... maybe you could help us find him?"

Logan was sitting there, a pained and tired look on his face. Patton glanced at him, biting his lip. "Of course Virgil! Where are you? We'll be right there," he managed to squeak.

He got the location and hung up. Patton yelled for Roman, who was somewhere around the house sulking and turned to the logical side. "Come on, Logan, let's go."

Logan sat their quietly. "This is all my fault. I can't believe I trusted the other dark sides to manage this. I knew what I should have done, and I watched them fail to save him! How could I have been so blind?"

"What?" Patton asked, pausing in the doorway. "Logan, this isn't your fault! How could it be?"

"I knew what was going on with him and trusted the Dark Sides to take care of it!" Logan said, shaking his head in dismay.

"Oh, Logan, they're doing fine. They had a problem they couldn't fix, and that's okay! They asked for help. That's the right thing to do. Now we just have to do the right thing too."

Roman came bouncing down the stairs. He looked frustrated. Logan stood up with a sigh. "Alright. I suppose you're right."

"Don't worry guys! Everything will be fine," Patton insisted, but they could all sense the unease in his voice, the sincere discomfort. He wasn't sure they would find Deceit in time. None of them were.

_________________________________________________________

It took about seven minutes for the Light Sides to find the Dark sides. Patton shuddered when he saw Wrath. He could feel the anger bubbling within the other side. But the anger wasn't towards Virgil, Deceit or even any of the Light Sides. It seemed to be directed at himself. 'Wrath must blame himself for all of this, poor thing!' Patton thought as they joined the group.

"Took you long enough," Wrath sneered.

"Sorry-" Patton began, but Remus cut him off.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Pat. Rat's just being a dick," he said. Wrath's anger rose, but he didn't say anything, merely glaring at Remus with the anger of a thousand suns. The Duke didn't even look at the other side, instead of winking in his brother's direction.

Virgil scurried over to Roman's side, clasping his hand tightly in his boyfriend's. 'Oh, poor Virgil! He's trying so hard not to have an anxiety attack.' It seemed Roman could see this too, as he began whispering to Virgil.

"So. You can find him?" Wrath asked.

"I think so!" Patton said, trying to be cheerful.

"He 'thinks so.' Perfect," Wrath said, adding an eye-roll for dramatic effect.

"You know, I like you a hundred times better when Dee's around. You're like, significantly less bitchy."

Wrath turned to Remus with a growl, swinging at him. Logan intervened. He popped up between them, grabbing Wrath's wrist. "Hey! Remember what our focus is here! This is not about you!"

Wrath shook him off. "Don't touch me, nerd." He took the point though. He did not try and hit Remus again.

Logan straightened his glasses as if cued by the remark. "We're on a bit of deadline here. Patton, if you would?"

"Yeah, of course..." Patton said. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. 'Deceit, where are ya, kiddo? We're worried about you...'

Patton expended his mind, searching the mindscape. He could envision Remy and Picani, who were cuddled together on a couch somewhere, watching Queer Eye together. "Wow, Karamo did so well boosting that poor fella's self-confidence!"

Remy smirked, throwing popcorn at the therapist. "Karamo did well? Did you see what Tan had to work with? Gurl, that closet looked like something had literally died in there!"

They laughed together. Their joy warmed Patton's heart. It was so much easier to find happy emotions. So much nicer. He frowned, clearing his head. 'no, no, no... not them. Deceit..." he looked out into the cold depths of the mindscape.

Patton finally spotted him, pulled in by the torment that surrounded Deceit. Deceit was sobbing and muttering to himself, stumbling along. "I can't keep doing this... Thomas doesn't deserve it. He'd be better off if he couldn't lie, right?... or at least... Virgil could rest easier knowing I'm not around anymore..."

Patton's groaned. "Oh no! Poor thing..."

"What, where is he?" Wrath demanded.

"Uhm... he's..." Patton looked around for some sort of landmark. It was like looking at a map through squiggly stained glass. Easy to see, but hard to understand. Looking around, Patton spotted something he recognized. There were rocks and bushes... where would their be rocks and bushes? And then... a lake.

He recognized the lake. Thomas had often dreamed about the place; it had been one of his favourite places to play pretend as a little kid. He could play a pirate, a great king, a talented explorer... this was Roman's corner of the mind, were put together all of Thomas's dreams. Well, the good ones, that is. (Remus did the bad, as you might have guessed.)

"OH! I see! Roman, he's at the lake!" Patton opened his eyes.

"The lake?" Roman said quickly, tilting his head to the side.

"Yeah, you know, in your place? That's in Thomas's dreams!"

Let's go then!" Remus urged, and they all ran off.


	11. Let's Talk About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11. Only a few more everyone! 
> 
> I totally didn't cry while writing this!
> 
> Logan, in the background: FALSEHOOD

It was a warm evening. The moon was out, and fireflies buzzed around, flickering their little lights all around the lake. Frogs croaked, greeting Deceit as he stumbled through their home. Crickets were chirping somewhere far off, and Deceit couldn't help but admire how wonderfully Roman had recreated the place. It was just as Thomas remembered it, but somehow better.

Deceit swatted away a fly buzzing near his face, sighing. If Remus were here, he might have made some joke about how since he was half-snake, he should try and catch the snake with his tongue. Deceit would have dismissed the comment, and Remus probably would have spent the next hour trying to find and eat a bug. In this perfect fantasy, Wrath was tending a campfire that was just a little larger then it should have been, and Virgil... Virgil might have stood with him on the side of the lake, skipping stones together.

The Dark Sides had had fun like this before. A long time ago, before everything had gone wrong. Deceit combed his sweaty hands through his hair. "But I ruined it. I wrecked the dark sides. If I do this any longer, I'll hurt my family even more."

The liar wiped his face on his sleeve. Looking around, he saw the medium-sized cliffs that loomed over one side of the lake. "Don't go over there, you could fall," Thomas' mother had warned long ago.

"Maybe... maybe I want to fall," he said aloud to nobody. "I want to." Deceit walked around the lake, climbing up the incline that brought him to the top of the cliff. There had been a waterfall once, and the rut the water had made in the ground was still there, but Roman had decided to leave it how it was in real life- damed somewhere far upstream.

He walked to the ledge for the second time that day. 'You're back so soon... I knew you would be. All that pain... I knew you wouldn't get better...' Deceit shuddered. It was the voice. He had heard it this morning at the pit.

"You knew?" Deceit asked flatly. He didn't care what the answer was. But he did wonder to whom this voice belonged too.

'Oh, yes, of course. I can see all that pain, that longing... it's eating you up inside."

"Yeah, yeah..." Deceit sniffled. "We've been over this. You want me to jump. I'm going to jump. But who are you? I- I'm curious."

'Why does it matter? If I tell you, it will die with you.'

"I want to know. Call it my last request. Who would want me dead as much as I do?"

The voice chuckled. 'For a liar, you sure do desire the truth, don't you? Very well. My name is Depression. I was never quite strong enough to become a side. But that's beside the point. I'm just here to do my job. And my job is to convince you to jump, Deceit.'

Deceit cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice from cracking under the substantial feelings that enveloped him. "We consider your job a success."

Deceit stepped up to the edge, his knees wobbling as he stepped on a mossy rock. There was a wave of relief that flooded over him when he looked to the ground. He was so close to getting a break. So close.

______________________________________________________________

They arrived at the lake, Virgil still clinging to Roman's arm. This was way to much stress. "Do you see him?" Roman asked the group, and they all scanned the area fervently. 'Oh, please... don't be dead, Deceit...' Virgil pleaded.

"Up there!" Wrath pointed and took off in a sprint towards the cliffs. Then Virgil saw him. Deceit was standing on the edge, where the waterfall had used to be. They followed Wrath, hurrying after him. "Deceit!!!" Wrath shouted up. "Stop!"

Deceit, visibly startled, looked over at the group. He just shook his head. "What are we going to do?" Patton asked, looking between Deceit and Logan.

Logan bit his lip and then cupped his hands around his mouth. "Deceit, don't make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings!"

"You don't understand!" Deceit shouted, his voice cracking into half a sob. "I'm doing this for all of you! For Thomas! I'm hurting you. I can't do this... I just can't keep going when I know how terrible I am!"

Patton's eyes widened. "Why would you think that you're terrible? You're not hurting us!"

"I drove Virgil away! Every time I try and help Thomas, I somehow just make him feel worse! I don't mean too! I just want to help him!"

Roman squeezed Virgil's hand supportively. 'You have to say something', it seemed to mean.

Virgil took a deep breath. "But you didn't drive me away!"

Deceit did not look assured. "How can you say that? You hate me! All of you light sides do. And Thomas... I don't even understand how Remus and Wrath haven't left me yet!"

The anxious side tilted his head. "Deceit, I need to talk to you. We need to work this out. How can I make you understand- it wasn't your fault! I was happy with you and the others!"

"Then why did you leave, Virge?" Deceit said, his voice almost too soft for them to hear.

Virgil's face grew red. He glanced around at the group, his anxiety boosting. They were all looking at him. "Uhh... do you think we could have this discussion in private? I would REALLY rather not shout it in front of nearly everyone I know..."

Deceit glanced between them and the ground directly below him. He curled his arms around himself, standing silently for a moment. It was a long moment. Finally, he spoke. "I'm sorry... I feel like you're just trying to get me down... that- you don't really care..."

Virgil bit his lip, his body trembling a little. None of them knew this. He shuddered. Like a band-aid, you've just got to rip it off... "Look, I was struggling. I felt the way you did. Like I was hurting Thomas more than helping him. That I was a burden on you. I never actually wanted to duck out like I told the light sides when they came searching for me. I had tried to kill myself, Deceit!" he yelled. His voice hung in the air. He dared not look at anyone but Deceit. He couldn't face them right now.

"You..." Deceit choked.

"Yeah! I did. I had tried to jump into the dream dumping pit like I heard you did. But lucky for me, Remy was there to convince me otherwise." Deceit was frozen, his head trying to wrap around the thought. "Another one, really?" Sleep had said when Deceit was there. He had been talking about Virgil...

"But the Light Sides convinced me how much I was needed... I really hope I can do that for you. I really got better Deceit. I started seeing Picani, and I reevaluated myself. I couldn't stand being a 'dark' side anymore, because I knew how much the labels 'dark' and 'bad' and 'evil' hurt my mental health. So I left. But it was never because I hated you!"

Virgil stopped, taking a deep breath. He glanced around. Roman was giving him a sympathetic smile. Patton was encouraging, but clearly and little frightened. Wrath and Logan seemed respectful. But... where was Remus? He nudged his boyfriend and nodded to where Remus had been standing. 'where'd Remus go?' he mouthed, and Roman looked around wildly.

While Roman looked around, Virgil turned back to Deceit. "I know you care about me. I care about you. Please can we try and be friends again? I'm so sorry I hurt you like this."

Deceit rubbed his eyes, blinking away his tears. He smiled, clearly exhausted. "Okay. Yeah. I'll come down." He turned around and took a few steps away from the edge.

Then all Hell broke loose.


	12. Nothing Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy! We're almost to the end, everyone! I'm gonna write one more to finish it off and we're done with this story. I hope ya'll have loved reading it as much as I did writing it!

Suddenly, thunder clouds rolled in out of nowhere. A wind picked up, creating violent waves on the lake.

"What's going on!?" Patton shouted over the howling wind.

"I don't know! Something bad! Where's Remus? We need to get Deceit out of here!"

"I got him!" Virgil yelled, turning and bolting up the path that leads to the top of the cliff.

"Virgil!" Roman cried, taking off after him. Wrath grabbed his arm. "What are you doing!? Let me go!"

"This is your corner of the mind, isn't it? Try and stop the weather, creativity! Virgil will be fine."

Roman begrudgingly stopped fighting against Wrath's grasp, turning toward the storm that was starting over the lake. It was like a cyclone had dropped in over them. He raised his hands as he did when creating things, trying his best to will the sun up. But whatever was happening was overpowering.

Meanwhile, Virgil raced up the side of the cliff. Ahead, he saw Remus, clambering around trying to avoid being blown away. Remus reached the top and disappeared from view. Virgil fought his way up, coming to the edge of the trees in the clearing where Deceit had been. He felt something grab him, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

A hand clamped over his mouth. He turned and saw Remus, who was pressing a finger to his lips. Remus removed his hand and pointed ahead. There was some sort of smog swirling between Deceit and them.

Then it took form. There was a person there. He was wearing a long-sleeve gray shirt and wore gray, torn jeans. He was barefoot, and the sides could see his hair was frosted gray as well. It was odd, the storm didn't seem to have fully dissipated from around his body, and Virgil was reminded of the steaming effect of dry-ice.

"Oh, COmE On!" The man screeched. "I wAS- YOu weRE sO clOSe!" his voice sounded like the wind, sort of a howl. Virgil recognized it. He had heard it before...

"De-Depression?" Deceit stuttered, clearly in shock. "I thought you didn't have a body!"

"I DiDN't! But I WAs GeTTinG OnE! YoU aND ANXieTy cAn NeVEr actUALLy do IT, CaN YoU?!! GEt SaD ENoUgH TO JUmP!?"

"Leave us alone!" Deceit said, seeming to regain some confidence.

"LEaVE YoU AlOnE? If You Don'T DIe, thEN that meANS I diDN't fiNIsh mY JOb! I cAN nEvEr hAvE a BoDY! SoRRy, bUdDy, I DOn't hAVe a CHoIce."

Deceit raised his hands in defense as Depression stepped toward him. He took a step backward; away from Depression, but closer to the edge of the cliff. "Wait! I d-don't want to die! Look, I'd love to try and help you get a body, but that would mean you have a firmer grip on Thomas. I couldn't let you do that to him! To them," He pointed down at the group of sides at the bottom of the cliffs.

Beside Virgil, Remus summoned his mace-flail. He handed it to the anxious side. "I'm going to sneak around and try and get Deceit. If Depression does anything, whack him. Either it will go through him since he looks like he's primarily made of smoke, or his head will dent in and there will be blood and brains everywhere, and his eyeballs will fall out into the mud," the Duke whispered.

Virgil felt sick. "Why don't you do the whacking? I can hardly lift this thing!" The side whisper yelled, but Remus had already snuck off.

"COulDn'T LeT Me? Oh DEcEiT," Depression hissed. He was steaming more, his voice becoming even more distorted. "YOu CaN'T StoP Me! I aLMoST KiLLeD YoU. TWicE. ThiS TimE, I WiLL nOT be GiVing yOu An OpTioN. ANd AnYWAy, It'S NoT LikE TheY'lL CArE If YOu dIE!"

Depression, who had been edging Deceit further and further back to the side of the cliff, took the chance. He reached out and shoved Deceit. Now perhaps if Deceit hadn't had such an exhausting day, and if the weather was nice, he might have not lost his footing. But those wet mossy rocks...

Deceit screamed, falling backward. Remus lunged out of the brush, trying to grab him. Virgil couldn't see if Remus had gotten him, but took that as his cue. He raced out, holding the weapon up the best he could. "That's where you're wrong, Depression!"

The fading almost-side spun around. His eyes went wide with alarm as he took in the scene, but it changed to a smirk. "HeLLo, ANXiEty! My oLd fRieND! It's BeEN so lONg sinCE we'Ve tALkEd..." he reached out to place a hand on Virgil's shoulder, but the side cringed away.

"We are not friends! All you do is hurt the people I care about!" Virgil yelled, swinging the mace-flail.

Depression hopped out of the way. "AwW, that's noT trUe! hOW couLd yOu saY wE'Re nOt friENds? I SpENt So mUCh TIme at Your siDe, giViNg yoU adViCe-" 

Virgil swung at him again, and Depression backed up. "NO. You're toxic! You made Deceit want to kill himself! You made me want to... to kill myself! A friend should never do that!" Virgil felt a pit grow in his stomach. 'Oh, but haven't I done that? Didn't me leaving hurt him?' he brushed the thought away. He couldn't deal with that right now.

Depression had dodged that swing as well, but not quite well enough. It scraped his cheek, opening up a gash on the side of his face. "WAiT! VIRgiL, Be REaSonAblE! Aren'T We tHe SaMe, YoU And I? JuSt FeelIngS, meAnT To Be FelT?"

Virgil glanced behind Depression. There was the ledge, a yard away. He smirked, looking the not-side in his cold, dead, stone-like eyes. "I don't think so. Here's the difference between you and me, Depression. Me and the other sides, we all want to HELP Thomas. That's why you'll never be one of us!" Virgil swung the mace-flail again, and it just barely scraped Depression's chest. But Depression, thinking it would hit him dead on, jumped backward, so he wouldn't get hurt.

____________________________________________

"Oh My God!!!" Patton cried out, pointing. 

Wrath shoved Roman to the side of a falling tree branch that the storm had flung and followed Patton's hand with his eyes. Somebody was falling. But it sure wasn't Deceit.

This figure seemed to turn to smoke in midair, like the Death Eaters from the Harry Potter films did. But not entirely. He plummeted to the bottom, his scream lost in the storm, if he even had screamed at all, and dissipated when he met the ground.

The storm immediately disappeared. Whatever had happened was over. But unease crept over Wrath. Where were his friends?

_____________________________________________

Virgil ran to Remus, who was trying to pull Deceit up. The two of them managed the awkward angle, and soon they all lay sprawled out, panting and wet from the rain and the excursion.

Deceit sat up, curling his arms around his legs. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" he seemed like he was going to start sobbing again.

Remus grabbed him, pulling him into a strong hug. "I am SO glad you didn't follow through with it, Dee." They sat in silence for a moment as Deceit just hugged Remus, curled up with his face pressed into the Duke's shirt, calming himself down.

"You saved my life..." Deceit stated, looking to Remus.

Remus smiled widely. "Of course! Anything for you." The duke blushed deeply.

Deceit looked away, a soft smile on his face. Something was blooming there, Virgil could sense it.

Virgil, feeling slightly more awkward by the minute, sighed. "You don't need to apologize, Deceit. We're not mad at you. We're just happy you're safe now. I know Depression is a total bitch."

Deceit chucked softly, wiping away his tears but still clinging to Remus. "Yeah," he said, clearing his throat.

Virgil studied his old friend. 'Surely it wasn't his fault entirely that Deceit had felt this way, was it?' He smiled. 'Of course not. Depression can get to the strongest of people. It latches on to your worst feelings and amplifies them. But nothing can ever have just one cause, just like a person can't grow with just one food all their life. It takes an assortment.

The anxious side noticed that despite his jackets and Remus holding him, Deceit was shivering horribly and starting to look a little faint. "hey, let's get you someplace warm, m'kay? I can see this isn't your scene right now."

"Tell me about it," was all Deceit managed to say, and they hauled him to his feet, beginning the descent down the side of the cliff to where the other's waited. 

Everything seemed to be looking up for the first time in a long time.


	13. *NOTE*

Hey everybody! I just wanted to check in with ya'll and let you know something that's come up. I sprained two of my fingers during a basketball game, and can't type very well. This is just voice typing, but I won't be able to write the rest of this story like this. I was really hoping to finish up the last chapter this weekend, but it looks like that's not happening. Hopefully, I'll be able to get it written and posted in the next two weeks. I'm really sorry everybody!

Have a nice day! I sure am pissed I can't get anything done! \:

-BossPotato01


	14. One Year Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! Sorry for the longer wait here. I hope ya'll enjoyed the story!

"Deceit! What a pleasant surprise!" Picani said, beaming.

"It can't be that surprising," The side chuckled. "I did call and schedule an appointment."

Picani opened his door, stepping aside to let his patient in. "Yeah, but it's been six months since I've seen you last!"

Deceit took a seat on the sofa. Picani looked him up and down. Deceit was dressed up in his staple attire, and Picani could sense there was a lot more self-confidence within him. Picani sat down across from him, grabbing his clipboard. "So, Deceit, Do you, how do?"

"I feel good," Deceit said, his lips curving into a small smile. "I'm listened too more, which is great. The other sides... they don't slander me."

Picani took a note. "Well, of course not! See, they got to know you, and they care." Deceit nodded. Picani looked thrilled. "And how are your more romantic relationships, Deceit?"

The liar bit his lip, trying to repress a big smile. "Well, as I said before, fixing things with Virgil gave me peace. Knowing that he didn't hate me, I guess that made it so I could move on. And I have! And now I've been with Remus for a couple of months... it just feels so... so good to know you're loved."

Picani squealed. "Well, of course, it does! And you deserve it. I'm so glad you're happier Deceit," the psychiatrist turned a bit more serious. "And, of course, I want to know for your own safety, but I understand if it makes you too uncomfortable... you haven't bee indulging in self-harm, have you?"

Deceit's smile softened his eyes, becoming sincere. "No, I haven't. Not in quite a while, see?" He asked, rolling up his sleeves to display his cut and bandage-free wrists. There were scars, yes, but they were quite faded, and nothing vaguely new adorned him.

Picani breathed a sigh of relief, but his curiosity was ebbing at him. Not that he didn't enjoy seeing Deceit, but he couldn't help but wonder. 'Why was Deceit here?' The liar hadn't missed an appointment for a whole six months after The Incident, as Deceit referred to it, and then they had slowly started meeting less frequently, until not at all. A full six months had passed without a word, and now- this? "Well, I've got to admit, you have me stumped, Deceit! What's up? I hate to ask for the worst, but I can tell something is bothering you. What is it?"

Deceit sighed, taking off his hat. His smile disappeared. "I... I don't know, and that's the problem. I'm in a happy relationship; I'm happy with my job... but... I feel weird. You know, it's been a year, as of today since I- since the Incident, and I feel uneasy."

Picani wrote something down on his clipboard quickly. "How so?"

Deceit ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, I've been thinking about Depression a lot lately. He was destroyed because he wanted something I was taking for granted: a body- a life. I feel bad. I mean, I hate him, but... he's dead because of me."

Picani hummed, pressing his pen to his lips. Then he smiled. "Deceit, you're empathetic. That's a wonderful thing! It's okay to feel bad about what happened to him, but you have to understand that it wasn't your fault. He tried to kill you. Was it right for him to die? I can't answer that. But I can see why you're uneasy."

"Everybody talks about him like he was so evil," Deceit said softly. "And maybe he was. I don't know- but... I can't help but think, isn't that how they thought of me, hardly a year ago?"

"I can see this concept is your Achilles' heel, huh?" Picani asked. Deceit nodded. "This is a tricky thing. I've met Depression many times, you know. Not to speak ill of the dead, but he was always a difficult person to talk too. I need you to understand something about him. You and all the sides want to help Thomas. You're his self-preservation for Pete's sake! But Depression... he just wanted to watch the world burn, so to speak. Kind of like Scar in the Lion King!"

"What do you mean?" Deceit asked.

"Well, Scar desired power over the Pride lands, as Depression wanted power over Thomas. Scar knew the only way he could get that power was by murdering Mufasa, and Depression knew the only way he could get power was by killing you. How would Thomas be able to hold off against Depression without some self-preservation?"

"Oh, I guess I understand," Deceit said, but even Picani could tell it sounded a bit like a lie. "But... unlike Mufasa, I'm still alive."

Picani shrugged. "Not my best analogy, sorry. But Deceit, can't you see how different you feel without him alive anymore? How Thomas feels? A life for a life is not a fair deal. But think of it this way- any side with too much power os harmful, right?"

"I-" Deceit began but quickly stopped. "...yes."

"Now, can you think of any time when Depression in any amount would be beneficial to Thomas?"

Deceit bit his lip. "How about a friend's funeral? If you're not upset, then you're kind of heartless, aren't you? Or if everyone hates you, and you're not upset, then what will drive you to change your behavior to make them like you more?" There was a soft glimmer in his eyes, a painful, thoughtful look that made Picani cringe a little.

"Deceit, there is a difference between empathy or sadness and Depression. I am not saying that Depression lacked purpose entirely, but you have to understand that what happened to him was a benefit to Thomas. I get why the idea of taking something like life for granted is startling when you almost lost yours. But now it's time to start moving on. Okay?"

The lying side nodded, his eyes cast-off to the side, clearly unsure how to respond. Picani sighed softly. "You have such a nice life ahead of you, Deceit if you always do your best. And nobody expects your best to be perfect. But remember, your best will always be good enough for the people who care about you."

Deceit smiled, despite himself. He wanted to be good enough. And even though there was always going to be some doubt in his mind, but knowing that he was good if he tried- "Thank you so much," he choked out, unsure how to feel. But he felt light. Like some burden was lifted off his chest.

"I'm just stating facts, Deceit," Picani giggled, leaning back in his seat. It was in this motion that Deceit saw that Picani hadn't been note-taking at all, but doodling the whole time. He smirked and gathered his things. "Are you leaving so soon? We have plenty more time if you like-"

Deceit waved Dr. Picani off. "Thank you, but I have some things to mull over. And I'd like to get back to my boyfriend." Picani smiled and nodded, standing up to see his patient out. When they reached to door, Deceit stuck his hand out to shake, but Picani just awkwardly high-fived it. 

The liar left the building and began to walk home. Things were better now. Not perfect, but at least he was happy. He felt wanted. Like he had a purpose. And that's all a person really needs, isn't it?

END.


End file.
